Hey fellow gamers! Are you tired of saving the world? Bored of being a noble knight? What if, just what if, you embraced the chaos and traded in your sword for… a screaming toddler? That’s the premise behind Bad Parenting, a hilariously twisted simulation game that throws you headfirst into the wonderful, messy, and often utterly bewildering world of raising kids.

What is Bad Parenting Anyway?

Developed by Russian developer Evil Tortilla Games and released on Steam, Bad Parenting isn't your average family simulator. It's a dark comedy that embraces the absurdity of parenthood, letting you experience the highs and lows (mostly lows, let’s be honest) of raising children without any of the real-life consequences. Think The Sims meets Goat Simulator, but with more diapers and existential dread.

The game aims to satirize the parenting experience through exaggerated situations and questionable choices. You get to make all the (bad) decisions, from choosing what your child eats (or doesn't eat) to how you handle tantrums (spoiler alert: there's no right answer). The game encourages players to explore the boundaries of acceptable parenting, leading to some truly outrageous and hilarious scenarios.

Getting Started: From Conception to Chaos

Okay, so you’ve decided to take the plunge. Here’s a breakdown of what you can expect when you boot up Bad Parenting:

• Character Creation (of sorts): The game doesn't have a deep character customization system. You'll have a limited selection of parents to choose from, each with their own starting stats and quirks. These stats will affect their ability to handle stress, provide for their children, and generally keep the household from descending into complete anarchy.


• The Miracle of… Well, You Know: The game skips the nitty-gritty details of conception (thank goodness!). You essentially start with a pregnant parent. Prepare for mood swings, bizarre cravings, and the ever-present threat of morning sickness.


• Welcome to Parenthood (and Sleep Deprivation): Once the baby arrives, the real "fun" begins. You’ll need to manage their needs, including feeding, changing diapers, putting them to sleep, and keeping them from destroying everything in sight.

How to Play: Mastering the Art of Imperfect Parenting

The gameplay in Bad Parenting revolves around managing resources and making choices that impact your child's development and your own sanity. Here’s a more detailed look:

• Resource Management: You’ll need to keep track of several crucial resources, including:
  
  
  
  • Money: This is essential for buying food, toys, furniture, and other necessities. Earning money can be done through various jobs, but be prepared to juggle work with the demands of parenthood.
  
  
  • Energy: Both parents and children have energy levels. Exhaustion can lead to decreased productivity, irritability, and a higher likelihood of making bad decisions (which, in this game, is half the fun!).
  
  
  • Sanity: Watching your child smear spaghetti on the walls, listening to endless crying, and dealing with mountains of laundry can take a toll on your mental health. If your sanity drops too low, you might start making even worse parenting choices.
  
  
  • Child's Happiness: Despite your best (or worst) efforts, you'll probably want your child to be at least somewhat happy. A miserable child is more likely to act out, causing even more chaos.
  
  
  
  


• Making Choices (The Bad Kind): The game presents you with a constant stream of decisions, ranging from mundane tasks like choosing what to feed your child to more morally ambiguous dilemmas. Do you give your child sugar to keep them quiet? Do you bribe them with toys to do their homework? Do you let them watch TV all day? The choice is yours, and the consequences are often hilarious and unpredictable.


• Dealing with Disasters: Life with kids is never smooth sailing, and Bad Parenting reflects this perfectly. Expect unexpected events like tantrums, accidents, illnesses, and the occasional visit from social services. How you handle these situations will determine the fate of your family.


• Upgrading and Customizing: As you progress, you can upgrade your house, buy new furniture, and unlock new items. These upgrades can make your life a little easier (or create new opportunities for chaos).

Tips for Thriving (or at Least Surviving) in Bad Parenting

Ready to dive into the fray? Here are a few tips to help you navigate the treacherous waters of Bad Parenting:

• Embrace the Chaos: This isn’t a game about perfect parenting. It’s about embracing the absurdity and finding humor in the challenges of raising kids. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and see what happens.


• Experiment with Different Choices: The game is full of surprises, and the best way to discover them is to experiment. Try different parenting strategies and see what consequences they lead to.


• Don’t Be Afraid to Fail: You’re going to fail. A lot. Your child might end up with a sugar addiction, a crippling fear of clowns, or a surprising talent for arson. That’s all part of the fun.


• Read the Room (or the Situation): Pay attention to your child's needs and your own sanity. If everyone is exhausted and stressed, it might be time to take a break or find a creative solution (like letting them watch TV for a few hours).


• Learn from Your Mistakes: Even though the game encourages bad parenting, you can still learn from your mistakes. If a particular strategy backfires, try something different next time. Or don't. It's your game.

Is Bad Parenting Right for You? A (Mostly) Objective Review

Bad Parenting isn’t for everyone. If you’re looking for a realistic and heartwarming portrayal of family life, you’re in the wrong place. This game is a satire, and it pulls no punches in its depiction of the challenges and absurdities of parenthood.

• Pros:
  
  
  
  • Hilarious and Outrageous Gameplay: The game is genuinely funny, with plenty of unexpected and absurd situations.
  
  
  • Unique and Original Concept: There aren’t many games that tackle the subject of bad parenting with such a darkly comedic approach.
  
  
  • Replayable: With so many different choices and consequences, there’s always something new to discover.
  
  
  • Lighthearted and Low Stakes: It's a game, not real life. Messing up has no real consequences, so you can experiment freely.
  
  
  
  


• Cons:
  
  
  
  • Can Be Repetitive: The core gameplay loop can become repetitive after a while, especially if you're not actively trying new things.
  
  
  • Crude Humor May Not Be For Everyone: The game's humor is definitely not for the faint of heart. If you're easily offended, you might want to steer clear.
  
  
  • Limited Character Customization: The lack of extensive character customization can be a drawback for some players.
  
  
  • Graphics are Functional, Not Stunning: The graphics are serviceable but not particularly impressive.
  
  
  
  

Overall, Bad Parenting is a fun and entertaining game for those who enjoy dark humor and aren’t afraid to embrace the absurd. It’s a unique take on the simulation genre that offers a refreshing alternative to more traditional family-friendly games.

Call to Action: Are You Ready to Become the World’s Worst Parent?

So, what do you think? Are you brave enough to dive into the world of Bad Parenting? If you’re looking for a game that will make you laugh, cringe, and question your own parenting skills (or lack thereof), then this might be the game for you. Head over to Steam and give it a try! Let me know in the comments below what kind of terrible parenting you're pulling off! What's the worst thing your digital child has done? I want to know!

In Summary: Embrace the Chaos

Bad Parenting is a darkly comedic simulation game that puts you in charge of raising a child, but with a twist: you're encouraged to make all the wrong choices. From feeding your child junk food to ignoring their emotional needs, the game explores the absurdities and challenges of parenthood in a hilarious and often outrageous way. While it's not for everyone, Bad Parenting offers a unique and entertaining experience for those who enjoy dark humor and aren't afraid to embrace the chaos. So, are you ready to become the world's worst parent?